9 Tips For Crafting a Killer Resume


One of the things many prospective workers find hardest is making their resume great. Here are some of our best tips to make your resume stand out against the rest! 

• Don’t put everything on there. Your resume should not have every job you’ve ever worked listed on it. Leave things out to create an air of mystery around you. Try taking out your most relevant/impressive job experience as well as your last name.

• Sending in a physical resume? Seal it in a ziploc baggy so it doesn’t go rotten.

• Tailor your resume for the job you’re applying for. Applying to marketing company? Run a multi-million dollar ad campaign featuring your resume targeted at the company you’re applying to. A pet store? Try starting with “To Woof it May Concern.” Your dream job? Send your resume in a dream. Etc.

• Use keywords. Hiring managers scan resumes for relevant keywords. Pepper in words like “leader,” “hire me,” and “I am a very very good worker who will do very good work for your company” in as many sentences as possible.

• Print your resume out on a traffic cone so the hiring manager knows you’re a safe candidate

• Your contact email should look professional. Preferably your email should be just your name johnsmith@gmail.com but you may include your birth year as well johnsmith1979wastheyearthatiwasbornin@gmail.com

• Get creative! Spice up your bullet points by shooting real bullet holes next to each item in your experience.

• Don’t save your resume as a PDF. Mp3 is increasingly becoming the new industry standard since nobody reads jack shit anymore. Many voice actors can be found for cheap on Craigslist who will narrate your resume for you!

• Finally, if you’re applying for a job you want, don’t bother sending one in at all since you will never get it.

Hope these top tips help you on your search for the perfect job. Happy hunting!